Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
