she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
