I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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