Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Randomize
