I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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