I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
