did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Randomize
