If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Green mimosas i think yes
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
