she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
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