If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Randomize
