my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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