haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize