A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
