You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
I smell like Dick and happiness
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
