porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
