Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize