i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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