Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
We had sex on a dog bed..
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
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