woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I need moral support for this bender
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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