She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
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