He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
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