Texts From Last Night

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  (214): View more from Texas

  Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on

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  (214): Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on http://tfl.nu/x4zw
  Replies (11) Good night (1102) Bad night (1193)
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  (901): View more from Tennessee

  Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.

  (376): View more from

  you are insane

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  (901): Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere. (376): you are insane http://tfl.nu/nfoh
  Replies (12) Good night (3789) Bad night (1071)
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  (563): View more from Iowa

  The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.

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  (563): The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward. http://tfl.nu/35be
  Replies (16) Good night (1002) Bad night (4295)
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  (416): View more from Toronto

  You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..

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  (416): You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water.. http://tfl.nu/3ccr
  Replies (16) Good night (1382) Bad night (4282)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.

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  (603): Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes. http://tfl.nu/rqjn
  Replies (8) Good night (2380) Bad night (1379)
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  (334): View more from Alabama

  thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week

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  (334): thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week http://tfl.nu/vfml
  Replies (13) Good night (3100) Bad night (972)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical

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  (360): i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical http://tfl.nu/7e1z
  Replies (7) Good night (4463) Bad night (1026)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused

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  (402): the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused http://tfl.nu/z0he
  Replies (7) Good night (3112) Bad night (749)
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  (479): View more from Arkansas

  Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.

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  (479): Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE. http://tfl.nu/evb8
  Replies (10) Good night (776) Bad night (2378)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.

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  (314): I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads. http://tfl.nu/vfmt
  Replies (6) Good night (2774) Bad night (900)
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining

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  (541): oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining http://tfl.nu/nogg
  Replies (7) Good night (517) Bad night (1484)
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  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?

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  (920): there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room? http://tfl.nu/s38b
  Replies (8) Good night (678) Bad night (1392)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day

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  (610): just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day http://tfl.nu/mfoa
  Replies (3) Good night (452) Bad night (790)
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  (415): View more from California

  The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.

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  (415): The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle. http://tfl.nu/pzvt
  Replies (1) Good night (493) Bad night (658)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)

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  (860): And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?) http://tfl.nu/cs4u
  Replies (4) Good night (596) Bad night (335)

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