Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
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