Texts From Last Night

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  (505): View more from New Mexico

  I thought you said his peep was too small

  (1-505): View more from New Mexico

  it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.

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  (505): I thought you said his peep was too small (1-505): it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on. http://tfl.nu/ttsw
  Replies (11) Good night (757) Bad night (1834)
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  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win

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  (484): i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win http://tfl.nu/5w0f
  Replies (2) Good night (3072) Bad night (554)
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  (406): View more from Montana

  my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute

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  (406): my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute http://tfl.nu/00es
  Replies (33) Good night (25447) Bad night (1409)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins

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  (412): Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins http://tfl.nu/q4of
  Replies (13) Good night (3352) Bad night (754)
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  (336): View more from North Carolina

  I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.

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  (336): I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm. http://tfl.nu/32ib
  Replies (5) Good night (962) Bad night (5233)
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...

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  (608): There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position... http://tfl.nu/q8gr
  Replies (3) Good night (2092) Bad night (684)
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  (817): View more from Texas

  Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.

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  (817): Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light. http://tfl.nu/nfnq
  Replies (5) Good night (538) Bad night (1022)
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  (714): View more from California

  My liver just had a heart attack.

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  (714): My liver just had a heart attack. http://tfl.nu/xspi
  Replies (9) Good night (1234) Bad night (629)
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  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.

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  (780): A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have. http://tfl.nu/oqu8
  Replies (7) Good night (576) Bad night (1219)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.

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  (703): we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome. http://tfl.nu/tn3b
  Replies (4) Good night (767) Bad night (478)
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  (605): View more from South Dakota

  Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.

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  (605): Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised. http://tfl.nu/r6ni
  Replies (12) Good night (626) Bad night (1028)
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  (772): View more from Florida

  Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.

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  (772): Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with. http://tfl.nu/bsvi
  Replies (14) Good night (922) Bad night (448)
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  (520): View more from Arizona

  I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.

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  (520): I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013. http://tfl.nu/sp2x
  Replies (2) Good night (813) Bad night (323)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection

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  (314): A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection http://tfl.nu/gf0u
  Replies (1) Good night (802) Bad night (435)
• Favorite

  (406): View more from Montana

  The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.

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  (406): The golf course isn't that incognito for sex. http://tfl.nu/qp54
  Replies (5) Good night (483) Bad night (321)

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