new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
23 Gruesome Scientific Facts That Will Make You Squirm
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF