Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(415): View more from California

How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome

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(512): View more from Texas

its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter

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(609): View more from New Jersey

I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.

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The 21 Worst Ways People Have Been Dumped
Read it at the TFLN blog
(410): View more from Maryland

If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.

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(515): View more from Iowa

Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world

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(203): View more from Connecticut

just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge

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(860): View more from Connecticut

I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.

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(650): View more from California

Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.

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