id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
This couple is walking their pig around campus
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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