Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
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