Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
