I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Randomize
