"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I need help removing her.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Randomize
