never play flip cup with pint glasses
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
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