So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
