I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
