if only i could text you this smell
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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