yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
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