wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
