And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
