Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
