question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I have aggressive nipples.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Randomize