If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
He did a backflip because drugs
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
