If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
farters have to be the big spoon...
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
