I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Randomize
