I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
