Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
I am midnight drunk by noon
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
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