talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
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