like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
