I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
