is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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