Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I deserve this hangover.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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