so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
he just fucked me for my cheese.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Randomize
