so explain again why im purple
no
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
