I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Randomize
