erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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