Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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