she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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