I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
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