I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
