Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
