I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
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