I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
