went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Randomize
