Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
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