1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
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