After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
