Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
