I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
